Proud to be a Father

This week I heard an interesting interview on the HBR Idea Podcast with Stephanie Coontz. She just finished a study and published a book called “A strange stirring: The feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960’s.

She talked about the cultural shift that started as women started entering the workforce in the 60’s. A working woman had more independence and thus the divorce rates increased in the 60’s and 70’s. However as societies (mostly western) accepted equal rights, the divorce rates have gone down in families with working mothers. Where in the 60’s a working mother brought instability into the household, today a working mother brings stability to the house.

Further on in the discussion she explained how the dichotomy has changed. The woman is in a more powerful roll now. It is acceptable for a woman to aspire to things that were once seen as a male only activities where men are suspect if they do anything feminine. Therefore now the double edged sword for men. They feel and want take an active role in their family however, society still hasn’t accepted this. The workplace is still designed that there will be one breadwinner and the other cares for the children. Some men reported they were going to a doctor appointment instead of saying it was their turn to pick up their child. A man is seen as questionable if he wants to teach young kids. The mother is always addressed at schools or doctors. Men clearly have a back seat in regards to family marketing.

As I am telling my wife about this she says, “yeah, a funny thing happened the other day.” They were reading Stella’s latest favorite book “Llama Llama Misses Mama”. In the middle she stopped and asked “where is the daddy?”

My heart glistened when Maja told me that. I do all I can to be as involved as possible. I work a lot but I do my best to give undivided attention when home and we share all tasks equally.

At the end of the interview Mrs. Coontz was asked what the future holds in the next 20 years. Her answer, it depends on how we carry on and embrace the evolving role changes.

Stella’s comment made me proud.

I am making an impression!

I am proud to be an active father (and don’t hide it)

I am proud that the fathers in our circle of friends are just as active.

I am proud to see the fathers picking up their kids at our pre-school.

I am proud that there are many more out there that ARE taking an active role in parenting. And with the internet we can be found.

There are some great men making such a difference in children’s lives.

Sweet juniper with his ever Mcguiver creations.

Teacher Tom running a cooperative kindergarten.

Outnumbered and his hilarious adventures.

And many more…

Germany is trying to recruit more men to be pre-school teachers.

A lot of the younger fathers at my work are much more involved which makes for good watercooler talk.

We still have a long way to go.

But we’re on the right path and I am glad I am on it.