Who do you choose?

I was astonished and appalled this evening when I opened the www.parenting.com website.

Before the page fully loads the following question is visible…"kids or spouse, who do you love more?"
I'm sure this is supposed to be one of those cutsie little quizzes like should I go blond or redhead. But somehow in our disposable society, in a time when people preach about low morals, during a financial crisis where relationship are strained as it is, this really seems to be the wrong message to be sending to the public.

Does it have to be one or another? Have our attention spans been strained to a point that we don't have the capacity to love more than one person at a time? Are we so insecure that we have to rank even our family members? Talk about feeding the fire for divorce. "see honey, you like Timmy more than me anyway, sign here, you get the house"

I love my wife!

I love my daughter!

Together we make a family!

They both mean and are the world to me. Why do I have to choose? I don't want to. I don't see any value in doing so.

I wrote parenting and told them these exact thoughts. If you feel the same way, even if you aren't a parent follow this link and tell them too that this is not the way to promote family, peace and love.

Yours truly, Jeremy – a loving father to all

The great Pumpkin and the Wandering Teddybear

Fall is in the air. A short break from the stories to post some pictures we’ve taken over the past few weeks.

Click here to see the pictures.


In the album you will find pictures in of Stella by the Great Pumpkin












A visit from the Twins Sidney and Spencer













And the wandering Teddybear

Durchgedreht

"Durchgedreht" This single German word sums up Stella the last few days. English? The translation doesn't quite get it right… Wound up, to spin, nuts, to blow a gasket, skid, slip. What ever it is, it is as if Stella has had a bee in her pants Since Sunday evening. Maybe she was watching the fevered action of the twins Sidney and Spencer at work and was taking notes, who knows. Now I know that Susanne and Daniel will not believe us. "What? The quiet and reserved Stella gone wild?" they'll say. Well yeah, she's a bit reserved around people she's not that comfortable with. But once she is, hold on to your hat, it's going to be a wild ride. Sunday night I was out of breath by the time I got her in bed. Running between rooms, flipping around, running away from you…oh look, there's something cool bam she's off like lightning.

Regardless of how wound up she is though, she'll eventually calm down as she sits in your lap, drinks her bedtime milk and looks at a book or two with you. After the stories we turn out the light and cuddle for a minute. Then I'll ask if she's ready to lay down in which she will shake her head yes and I'll put her down. What an awesome routine! Tonight, daddy got lots of kisses, without asking. As we were cuddling she looked up at me and gave me a kiss, then another. Then she turned around, wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me another. I wouldn't trade these moments for the world.

Stella has no fear. I think I have mentioned this before but I think she has adopted this motto as her middle name. Instead of crawling on the bed, now she stands up and runs around, not worrying where she's going or that there is a two foot drop on the end, succeeding just about every night to give her parents a heart attack. Just stepping off the couch or what ever she is standing on, whether you are ready or not.

She loves for you to hold her in your arms and spin spin spin around. Until you can't stand straight anymore and then she asks for more. She does this by shaking her head yes. A simple nod and a mischievous smile, innocent eyes asking for just "one more time". Spinning, dropping backwards and hanging upside down and running from the tickle monster. Now maybe I don't know enough about child psychology but just like children have this fear of clowns, I would expect Stella to be afraid of the tickle monster.
Let me describe him so you have a better picture of what we are dealing with here. A large being, three times your size. He walks with heavy steps shaking the floor. Arms are open wide as if hugging an ancient red wood tree. Strides like an elephant swinging from side to side. Eyes searching high and low for the little Stella. And the voice? Booming, horse, raspy crying out "WHERE IS STELLA, HERE COMES THE TICKLE MONSTER"

Now I think I would be afraid of this creature but Stella? It's her new favorite game. She'll hide behind the door or jump into mom's arms and laughs uncontrollably when she's caught. When the tickle monster stops, she quickly shakes her head "yes" to do it again…repeatedly. And if she has had enough? She just tells you "nein" and the game is off. You're usually ready to stop though before she is.

Another game she has is peak-a-boo. Stella will hide behind something and then peak her head out. Traditionally this game happens at the dinner table. When she's had enough we'll let Stella down from her chair. She'll run behind the kitchen door. She especially likes when we pretend we don't know where she has gone and ask each other if we have seen where she went. Then Stella will slowly peak her head out around from the corner, giggle and run to one of us. Then she'll turn around and repeat.

I think I have illustrated the point that Stella doesn't need any help walking anymore. She has even made it down our steep slope in the back yard by herself. She's still not as sure-footed as say a two year old. Still walking with the hard steps that make your joints cringe but with fearless abandon she strives forward. Now if she wants your hand, it means she wants to take you somewhere to show you something.

By the way, if you don't spin Stella around enough, she'll do it herself. And if the music is on, she'll turn it into a dance. Which she'll do anyway if music is on. Bouncing up and down, shaking it all about.

She is also consciously waiving bye-bye, blowing kisses and even shaking your hand goodbye as she is in this picture. Stella is saying goodbye to her friend Hannah.

Do the monkey

Monkey face

What does a monkey say? It pulls its shoulders up, arms sticking out, eyes rolling, dancing around and makes an oooh oooh sound. Well that’s Stellas impression of a monkey\goriilla when you show her the picture.

Stella has a new way to show that she is concentrating really hard. She sticks her tongue out the side of her mouth. This she showed us the other day as she was climbing up the rungs to the slide. These are not steps; these are straight round rungs that you could slip on easily. With hard edged determination she decided that she was going to climb up to the slide herself. Using the side rail for balance she managed this a bit shakily the first time and each successive time she became more steady with her climbing skills. Mom’s hands hovering around her waste should she slip but this was rarely needed. And with each step, eyes of steel on her goal, tongue stretched out.

- stella watching a kite in the air

- Great pumpkin

The other day, Maja arrived at the day care and Stella was standing at the door ready to go. Maja had to pack a couple of things so Stella decided to head back into the kitchen. When Maja was ready a moment later, Stella was too busy flirting with Janek to want to leave. Maja said “Bye, bye Stella, I’m going home”. At that Lorenz ran out and grabbed Maja’s hand. “You can go yet, you have to wait for Stella” he said. Alas, a moment later, Stella came trotting out of the kitchen and they headed home.

Fall as arrived. Our friends Bonnie and David visited us last week. We went out into the country and took some family photos. This is one of a series that Bonnie took of us. visit my facebook page to see some more.

Yum yum

Last weekend was the Harvest festival in Carlow. There was a large inflatable bouncy pen for the kids. It was a little too much for Stella but she enjoyed spinning in circles and jumping on the matt used as a step to get into the Bouncy pen. Stella enjoyed putting the colored pucks of the giant connect four game into the cage and really lit up every time the brass band started to play. She always wanted to watch and started dancing.

Yum yum is the new word. This means anything that she deems worthy to put into her belly. Walking down the street she'll see fruit hanging on the trees, point, and say yum yum. Or when she is hungry she'll go running into the kitchen, point to something and say yum yum.

May the force be with you Part 2…

Imitation is one way to learn. Stella has entered a phase where she will mimic you.  Waving back to you, covering her eyes or nose or mouth, dancing with you etc. Yesterday, even Luke Skywalker was able to take over the role of teacher as he (the little figurine) waved at her, shook his head, and lifted his feet, Stella reacted in kind. I am glad she has taken to grabbing Luke and Princes Leah instead of the emperor lately other sometimes she does grab a Star Destroyer commander. May the force be with you!

 

Through out this escapade, Stella was sitting on the potty. A new breakthrough as for the past month or so she would not sit down for more than a half a second on the little potty. How did we achieve this? Let her build! We constructed a large tower from her Lego's which she in turn loves to look at, play with, drop things into, add on and demolish while sitting on the potty. Whew hew!

 

At first she would fuss when sat on the potty. I would try and distract her, how? By being as loud as possible to drown her out. I would cover my eyes and say, "my eyes, my eyes, my eyes, my eyes, my eyes are gone." (saying it so fast that the words blur together)  Uncover my eyes and then say "Ah, there they are."  This would grab her attention and calm her down. Now after a few days of doing this, she will play along. She'll cover her eyes and mumble "aya,yaa, aya,aya…Da". How cute.

 

For a while now Stella has known the word Nein. She'll say Nein to something and we'll ask can you say "Ja"? In which she will reply "Ja". However this wasn't very consistent in answer and deed. Yesterday however, she started nodding her head yes. "Stella would you like a drink?" nodding her head vigorously up and down and then she'd grab the cup. And so forth.

 

Lately when she's had a really full diaper (and it's smelled something terrible) I've held my nose and said "ewwwww". Now over the last couple of days Stella has started doing the same. High pitched, ewwwwwwwwww.

Time flies...

Time flies…such a cliché but how true.

 

But wouldn't it be perfect to have a photographic memory; to remember precisely the moment that made you smile our really touched you. How do you catalogue all those fleeting moments? A camera captures an inaudible moment. A video camera captures the moment but not the meaning, the written word really just a memory interpretation. But what about that moment when your daughter looks you in the eye piercing down to your heart and touches your sole?

 

You can only say "amazing" or precious so many times before it starts to lose the intended meaning. But continually that's what it is.

 

Amazing to notice how last week Stella although walking was still unsure, but this week running around tripping less and carrying things. Precious how after walking up after a nap, cuddling on the bed she propped herself up on my chest, to gaze out at the world, then turned to me and smiled.

 

Amazing, what a flirt she is and how much energy she has, goofing around with the whole family, laughing, giggling and carrying on. Precious how expressive she talks, forming so sounds which to her I am sure are sentences.

 

Amazing to see the wheels turning behind those piercing eyes and then seeing the click. Each day getting better at taking a cup and drinking.

 

And absolutely precious how as she's trying to master the spoon, she smears herself and bunny with yogurt.

 

I try to capture as much as I can in picture and word but time just soars on and there are so many moments that slip by. Time really does fly.